Whee!! Just back frm SCC!!!..Kinda miss the camp now!!..haha

~Tis is the first day we take the pic from our group!!Stitch!hehe:D~
~But sadly 2 person which is Shao qian n yee siew is not inside..haiz~
~Nvm la it ok, although u r not here bt u r always in ourgroup!!..haha:D..whee!!^_^~

So yeah,I just back frm camp two days ago. Was really tired but seriously now i kinda miss that moment~haha..lol:P..So how r u guys been? Hopefully everyone and everyting is alright. I miss u guys alot esp my family and my frens!..haha:D although i knw i have a lit frens..>.<>.<

~First day of SCC~

Alright first day was not a really nice day to me n not a happy day la..It is because the few days past sis stomach pain dao rly very pain ma...She pain dao cant even stand..So, before the first day we pack our things together lo..and we pray hard she really can go lo..seriously..But after tmr..Around 4smthg am, she woke me up and cried infront of me..I was so shocked. She said she very pain n cant go already. She kept say sorry. I replied her, Its okay, dun worry..everyting will be fine alright..U still have next yr..to go..The main important tings is ur health. And i also kept cried without non-stop. I wanna slept back but i cant..And sis said she cant stand it anymore, she rly wanna go hospital. She didnt go hospital in her life before n we 2 also scared to see doc. And now she said she wanna go, its means rly rly pain..I dunno how suffer it is..but i see her face rly become very white n weak...So i quickly called dad bring her to hos..Dad said together out..cause very inconvinience fetch here n thr~..So i quickly go prepared everyting very quickly seriously..Dun even have appetite to eat breakfast anymore..Just drink something n quickly bring her to KPJ hos.. We went with dad ,sis and grandma to accompany her. T.T..She keep shout fr pain in the car..I keep stand and tell myself not to cry cause i dunwan make sis cried and scare somemore..So i keep tell myself dun cry and hope faster send her to hos. When reach thr..I just cnt stop myself frm crying..T.T..=(..Sis was lying thr..Dad called me to filled up the details..I dun even dare to inside the room. I forced myself to smile infront of her n cheer up her. I cried at outside. Really very exp the treatment..400smthg haven include Camp money..Cause dad called dun go..If not she suffer thr later..She very sad n moody. After seeing doc, dad bring me to Stadim Kajang gather lur..Everyone almost reach le..So scared i was the lastest wan..But i not scared them if im late also cause of sis i feel is worth it. Luckily , i didnt late..So the first ting i went is find my division then tell my CP that my sis is not going~ She ask why and say okay..Thy say tsk tsk...rly wasted..all those lo..I was so upset..N keep cried n wipe..dunwan let ppl see..cried in the corner..Then my frens saw and ask y like that lo..then masuk barisan, dunno why my tears just cant stop dropping..But i dun tink someone saw la..Then in bus dunno sit with who. I rly very upset n emo lo that time. Then i sit with my senior, since i dunhav ppl sit with. Then we reach thr almost like 8am i tink?..Then we gather lo our area wan..After gather we put up our tents and put our luagage inside , clean and etc.

After that we had our lunch..Wa go there that time damn long queue lo..Seriously..wait, wait ,wait seriously very long..and eat curry chicken and rice if i not mistaken..haha..lol:P..

After eating le..Then ice breaking lu..Whee luckily no need like last yr to wear full uni for open ceremony..So we just wear half uni..haha:P..Then waited very long for the ice breaking lo..seriously..Sit thr very long le..Then my fren why so long haven start de?..The ice also melt dy lo..When wan break leh?..haha..lolxP..smthg lidat gua..I also dun rly remember le..hehexD..Then few more min start ice breaking lu..Then no mood lo..as mention above..like so many tings happen..Then we also know each other and say our name n area..First time is like very kekok la..After that thy ask did i have nick name?..I was so shy lo as normal..lol:x..I said no..Thy A PON give my name as YOYO..zz..lol..haha..cause my name YY ma..haha..then i say anyting lo..Okay lo..Then our group is STITCH le..haha..xD..At first i dun rly like pur group la..but then i try my best to coperate and with them lo..So first activity we do is do the banner lo..At first thy ask who know drawing..Actually i wanna help n say i knw..but then i paiseh la..And dunwan lo..Give ppl chance la..Somemore i saw the girl dunno what name, but ppl called her apple..She seems so interested,..So i let her..its okay..Then we plan for the cheer lo..See them so quiet n like no idea..I just cant stand it dy..Wasted alot of time..So decided to say smthg lo..finally all done then..Bath all those n eat dinner..bla bla bla~hahaxP..Then at night go for the course ''knowledge of the order'' lo..Almost wan sleep listen to his speech lo..T.T..After that when end..Plan to have supper and study fr the course. But then i didnt have supper in canteen at last..I just study at there ny alone..cause the other frens say me like annoying..then kay lo..study myself..Study until 1smthg am like that..Then thy say wanna off light dy..So went back tent sleep~..When went back, all the member almost sleep le..me very scared the exam lo..And i can sleep almost the whole night..haiz...tats all for the first day gua..Hmm..,Sorry guys my memories not good..so i cnt rly remember..except some special memories la..haha:P..Kay la for now just share u guys first day 1st la..I seriously dun feeling continue dy..haha..lazy..lol:P..>.<..kay nites n take care ya!!<3..:d

>.<..sobsob

My sis still in a quite bad condition..Gosh..=(..Seriously i dont knw she will go with me tmr a not..I hope yes..pls..God!!..T.T..Anyway just wanna post some videos here..The songs is from the movie named ''Rapunzel''..Its seriously nice..I just love it..MAyb i abit childish perhaps??..
Enjoy~..=)

I love this song..Its kinda meaningful in the movie..haha:P..<3

Speechless..T.T

Hey..im finally back to blogging again~..Im really really very unhappy now~..I seriously dunno what kind of person in myself.. Tis few days..went out with parents and goin to have camp on next wed..so yeah..haven pack anyting yet..

So tis few days..i really very free..and no one really online..seriously was bored.. So, my mind sud came through alot of question.. I keep tink all the ''IF'' question.. Its like if i died , did anyone wil knw it except for my family?.. and alot more.. Today my sis having a terrible stomach pain..after that i have too..i eat some pain killer for stomach pain and bcome better..but my sis was urine infection i guess.. And she said she cant stand that pain anymore..She said she wanna go hos..I rly cant imagine it..I wont accompany her..cause if i go it will be more worst cause ofc i will cry..And she never went hos before in her whole life!!..At last she said she bcome better..and she dunwan go anymore..

I understand..what she feel..cause we 2 really very scared injection..until now..I knw im rly inmature..Anyway i just very very disappointed..cause no one understand me.. I did everyting with a reason!..I doesnt mean anyting..y u all just cant trust me?..Y all my frens just like so perfectly and me what?..And why whenver i wanna chat and tell smthg to somebody..no one is bside me to share it out??

I just hope just somebody will just support me when im down.. Try to understand no matter wht.. Support me although im wrong.. Just anyting will make me comfort tats all.. And few ppl did it..for me..sometimes.. Although it is sometimes.. I already feel very very very happy and satisfied with it.. And i can tell u i will nvr fgt u in my life!..hehexP.. So yeah i guess tats all fr nw.. Miss u guys..Take care!!..I wanted to have a wonderful christmas..How good if alot of ppl bside me and celebrate..haha:D..kla..bye..see ya!!..<3

Woots~ i love surprises and its a touch surprises!!..hahax)

So , nothing much today. Just as usual, online and chatting. Its getting boring and boring. I dunno why i wont feel bored when ''you'' chat with me, but i know u r busy always. And now u r getting alot of ''fans'' haha. Its normal fr u :)..cause i knw u will be a famous singer one day! Well..today was kinda surprise..seriously..haha..secret..wont let u guys knw~..hahaxP. Hmm..actually all this while i have been thinking, u r really good..and im not good in anyting~..honestly, and i dun even knw what im good in.. If can i hope i knw too. But i dont knw. So i was keep wonder, am i qualified to be a fren with u guys?? Hmm..im rly dissapointed of myself. Nyway someone call me not to tink negative side, and i wil try not to. But i cant guarantee..hahax)..And now i really really wanna Thank you who all this while supporting when im down, when im alone , and everyting. And tried to understand me~Uknw who u are~ I rly appreciated it alots!. I will nvr forget in my life! And bcos of me , sometimes i even make u sleep so late. I just can say ''DUI BU CHI'' > sorry!!. I rly dunno what i can do for u anymore. What i can help, i will definitely help. So yeah. Tats all i guess~

Thank you guys again! And yeah miss n love ya!..<3..

Feeling emo without reason..=.=''

Nothing much..The feelings is still the same..Its something like ''rojak''..lol..Its like a lot of fruits inside...and alot of taste~..Smthg like very complicated..Cause have alot of taste such as spicy , bitter , sour , sweet..and others until dunno bcome what taste anymore..or even tasteless~>.<..hmm..so i just wish everyting will be fine~..and evryting will be fine soon~..Seeing my fren happy..im happy for he or her happy too..:P..so just a short post..waiting for someone to blog and see...haha..take care guys!..nights..<3..sweet>.<..T.T..eye bags bcome bigger..>.<..kla bye~

I cant stand it anymore!!..T.T

Pheww..the time here now is almost 3a.m..I cant sleep..nowadays..having nightmare..always sleep half way..wake up in all a sudden..=(((..Hmm..now i really dunno how to express my feelings here..I dunno whr should i start frm..Cause ystdy *bfore 12am* happened alot of tings..I keep cried n cried..without stopping..I just cant accept it..Although i rly do my rly rly BEST to cheer up..but i just cant stand it anymore..! Dad say out something...I knw im not a daughter..I knew it..I not a GOOD person..im not a good fren...im just not good in everyting!!..Im not thinking negatively..im promise im not..but it prove to me..i am!..Im trying my best..Sometimes i even feeling to my parents about my feelings..but thy dun knw what i feel..and sometimes i feel shy eventhough thy r my parents!..I know im not a good daughter..i just hate it!..I thought i dun have friend..at least i have family members..but y no one rly understand me??..Y??..since when im young..I even tell myself fgt about the past..and fgt what had happened in my friendship prob..sometimes i even act good to them..Cause i tink beeing a fren is better than an enemy..right??..U know what??..Thy act good to me is because thy got intention n thy r taking my benefits frm me..U know how hurts when u knw it..n u have to do a fake smile infront of them??..Y did u all wan to do tis to me n my sis??..I know im nt a smart girl..my brain function slow..And so what?..This is not i want it..This is just me..And u tell me..I dun have brain??..Wth!!..YEs we dun have brain??..And u r the smartest person,..happy??..And i nvr have a choice!!..I very suffer..All the seniors..dun rly like us..frens i guess too..i just dunno y..?..
When my mum scolded u..U tink is all i wanted?..i feel guilty too..I just dunno how to explain..Nyway if u still wanna tink me is most stupid person in the world!..I dun mind!..I have already normal with nyway..It just like when thy need u..Thy just bought u..And whn thy dun need u..Thy threw u way~..Hmm..and..i dunno im doing all this while is what is right a not..im seriously very dissapointed..And im seriously shamed of myself beeing of ''ur'' fren..Im not qualified at all..moreover..I should not dream anymore..Stop it!..I rly dun like myself..>.<..=((...I not a good person~..Im not trying to be negative..its just frm my feelings..Nyway..i will be okay i tink..cheer up fr myself..=.=''..Take care..miss ya!..nites n morning!..T.T

Days past rly fast..I hope the time can stop now!!hahaxD

Hey guys..finally im blogging back..I wanna blog already past few days ago..but i lazy..haha:P..Nthg much la..Just as normal..Really bored..seriously..i can just keep stare at the screen without doing anyting..hmm..i seriously long time didnt chat with ''someone''..I just dunno y when im free, ''xxx'' will just like appear in my mind..seriously kinda weird..However..i just wonder what ''xxx'' busy and how is going on thr..hopefully everyting fine..Just went outing ystdy..Although its quite a simple day..nthg much..but i do enjoy~..I tink it is because i super duper love Christmas month!!..The decorations is super amazing and awesome!!..Nice!..I like christmas not because of decorations but the mood~..ITs like very peace..charm..relax..joyful and others!!..I hope this month will be the BEST month..cause school are going reopen~..and i tink i will seldom online n seldom chat ady..=(..Hmm..so yeah..next next week going camping somemore!..>.<..Hopefully it will be fun~..I rly hope i will enjoy tis month and hopefully will be a happy and wonderful christmas!!.And my exam result r comin out soon..rly scared..i hope it doesnt dissapoint me again!!.>.<..although sometimes im abit down..but i always tell myself dun tink so much~..I do remember what somebody told me..Just tink positve way!!..hmm..so I wanna tel u guys that Enjoy ur Christmas Month too..:P..love ya!!<3..take>

Nites and sweet dreams~..

May everything will be fine..:(

Sorry guys...I hope to be happy too..but i cant..T.T..This few days..i dunno what happen to me..I just cant express and the feelings here..GT a lots of feelings..Sad again? Worried? Speechless? Hopeless? ...I seriously dunno what am i doing!!..i tink 2 days ago..i was lying on the bed rolling here n thr..dunno what im thinking...its like too many of things im worried..at night was superb bored..not bored..but i cant even sleepp..cause afternoon,when im listening to song..i slept..im trying to tell myself forget everyting n just be happy..Nowadays i even have a nightmare..i just cant sleep well..I wonder who will understand my feelings now?..No one's?..And now i most worried was my sister!!!..HEr stomach was so so pain..on the right side..i very scared n so so worried about her!!..We scared it was appendix..im not sure the spelling..:(..She dunwan to see doc~...I do understand her feelings..All the frens said..pls dun be so childish..go see doc..We know..But we scared..i know some ppl scared too..I just dunno how to say tat feeling,..TIs morning..she really very in pain..n finally decided to see doc..I was so worried..at my room..was praying n crying..phew..seriously..i dunno how..U know y i always said myself useless??..ITs not because i always said i scared tis n that..I keep asking myself Y u always so scared tis n that??..Y r u so childish??..Y??..IF like that..How r u going to continue ur life??..ITs was true.,Sometimes i even asked myself..y ppl nt scared or y ppl can do it..y u cant??..Tat time i was trying to hate myself..I know im childish n lame..SO i asked myself again u tink u hate urself , u tink u can be better??..But i rly tried my best to be better..When im young..i tink when im 7 yrs old..i so scared inject..i sceamed until the whole school know abt it..i scared animals..I wonder what i dun scared??..If u were me..Will u be fed up??..NOw i just wan my sis to be recover first...hopefully is not appendix!!PLS!!:(((((((((((((....I do know her feelings..but no one's know mine.. FR NOw..i dun tink i can continue blog..Since i dunno how to describe anymore~~..I dunno now whether im missing someone anot..argh..screw it!!..>.<...Take care guys!!

=((((((((...hate myself

Uhhh..finally i blog again..if can i hope not to blog here..cause whenver i blog here it will be a sad post or emo post..i hate it..actually i wanna del this blog..cause i dun like it..but this blog is the one can i can share out my feelings..so i started about charity dinner first alright??..Actually i was not going fr charity dinner..but comm ask us to help out selling drinks..i dunwan..cause it was mum's b.day and have my cousin's gathering..but at last i went..cause my parents let me go..so at last i went..cause i tink that helping out is a good thing n i rly dun mind to help..since parents let n comm call..so i went..I was so frustrated in the early..cause i someone promise me to fetch me..but she is late..i so scared im late..cause i scare scolded..luckily i went nthg..then thy call us went up...and we doin nthg!!..standing thr like idiot..then the sargent ling call us to eat..and we dunwan..cause we said we r nt hungry..then he said at least eat some..cause later walk here n thr will be very tired..so he called us too..and he called us mix with the perimbum members eat together..and we fun mind..but the place like so full..we dun dare to take the food..cause thy r eating..so at last we didnt..Honestly that day i will regret going thr..cause i dunno that selling the drinks need to here n thr..i thought just stand thr..not only that..we scolded by mr logan..cause we carrying bags..he said, '' y r u all carrying bags??''..''tell me the reason''...we r scared n we dunno what to answer..''and he said u all doing duty izit??''..n he scolded us n call us put down our bag!..I was so so so scared..but we dunno ryte??..y he scolded us??..we came here the first time , n no one telling us what to do..fine..when selling the drinks the guest showing the faces thy dun like..cause we ask n ask..is not we wanted it k?..it an order!..The worst was the idiot guy..of his fren told him that dont i got feel to him??..then i was like wth in my heart , he smile n keep looking at me..n last he bought..wth la..what thy tink me??..i not that cheap okay??..im not that ppl..so i just screw it..n then i didnt eat at all..was super pain my hand..cause carry those drinks..didnt sit at all..n feeling to vomit..luckily i bring sweet n eat~..i tink i was hungry when seeing ppl eat..zz..=.=''..it was kinda fun..i tink..cause i seeing them rly enjoy..so yeah..i tink tat it..i dunwan mention it already..after that the next morning..cousin wedding!!..so woke up rly early..i help her collect ang pau..cause she called me..so i helped her..but i didnt toke it k..and at night we had the dinner..i tell my face like ghost i tink??..its kinda over..i tink la..cause i make up by my aunty..so..i keep asking my mum, that i tink my make up like over abit??..she said nola..it not over..and she said later the spotlight dun rly see my face dy..so yeah..n i so scared when i reached thr..cause we r kinda late..n many ppl was thr seeing at me..i so shy..>.<..n the make up rly not that obvious..^_^..haha..n thy keep call us take photo..i dnwan..i shy..n the worst is comparing us again..this time cant run cause later my mum will stare at me saying i no manners??..i hate it seriously...!!cause the charity night also gt someone comparing us..n my fren go tell the diff n show it!!..i so fed up with her seriously..i dunwan mention it dy..so the dinner was great la..at last the bride give me ang pau..haha..whee..cause my sis n i helped her out i tink??..i help her hold the gaun..so the conclusion fr the dinner was not bad!!!...and so full fr the foods!!fat again..zz..although now im trying to eat less dy..lunch smtimes i eat lit sometimes i dun eat..but no result ..swt..=.=''..And today..was bored..And just now i was seriously upset!!..n dissapointed again!!..I tell u..i was not a strong girl..but im doing my best!!..I keep cried i know...so what??..im childish..n u thought i wanna do that purposely??..For what?..T.T..I trying my best dun be sad..but y u all treat me like that??..y??..what i done wrong again??..Tell me!!..u all dun like tell me la..I better dunwan to know..when i know it u know hw hurt am i??..I have to make a fake smile to u all n keep in the heart..All this while i not brave to scold u all..Cause i tink u r my fren..just fgt abt it..I rly thought u as my rly good fren..u know whatever it is..i dunwan to lose u all..i admit i very lit fren..i dunno why..mayb i done wrong??..i dunno..U all blame everyting on me n my sis??..Everyitme also i wrong??..My fren all call me to ignore u kinds of fren..but i didnt do u know??..I wanna have someone to tell..but i sure will cry..again!!..im not a perfect or good girl..i seriously do hate myself..but i have no choice??..if u hated me..curse me lo..curse me die la..u always wan ryte??T.T..>.<..now i feeling to cry..:((((((((((((((..later sure cant sleep wan..haiz..kla..nyway i wanna thanks to some of my fren..which support me..when im down~...

This is the final and the end!!

I dunwan be any emo n i dunwan mention anyting...Its enough...ok??..I know im sensitive..n i have all the bad ones k??..I seriously hope i nvr nvr exist in this life...i know im bad..so is that u wan to tell me im the worst person??....I know others will not like me...but this me...what u wan me to do???...From small till now...i have my feelings...i feel fr it..U thought i dunwan a better life??everyones wan la kay??..U thought i dunwan choose to be nto sensitive??..FRom small i only with my grandma...only sat nite n sunday can saw my parents..n also hurt by many frens..if u r me will u just be happy n move on??...Tis few days i keep cry n cry until bengkak dy...i know im childish so wad??,..i know u all great..Everyting just end la...im seriously suffering...everytime i give a hope to myself end up wad happen??...Im not trying to act emo kay??...i wan a happy life also kay??...Im a human not an animal k!!..Today u all r too over..kay??..anyway now i dunwan to know wad u all done , i dunwan to care!!!..Its enough fr me kay!!T.T

I hope i never exist in this life..and this is me..=(

Hmm...im back blogging again..A second can happens many tings..appreciate every moment, very second..

i dunno y i had been like this??...No matter how times i explain how do i feel, still no one knows..

I doesn't mean to be like this..i know no matter how i hate myself, this is still me...
So why do i have too?? I think i rly should nt exist and born in this world..when a new fren comes to me, im really happy...but when the thing start...i feel it becomes worst?? It is because of me...evryting my problem..

Did u know i doesnt wanna be tat?? In school time...wen i passing u all..''my frens''...last time..you all never know me lidat...wat can i do??..I go to you all and say hi n tryin to make fun ...so to be more close?? u thought is fun??..I so scare u all guys dun like..i can feel it..Im speechless, im tired...i tink i should stop doing fake smile infront of u all..no fren ..den just tat all la~..I dunwan to be problematic child..dunwan to give hope to myself anymore..just do wadeer i can..Although i know nothing good in me...i tink i should stop blog forever??..hmm yeah..tats all~~Take care guys!!..i will be missing u all!!<3...bye..nites!!:D

Dead post??..T.T..Is there anyone beside me??..Can i just hugged or tell u smthg whenever i feel so down??..zz

Hey...

Hmm...finally i'm back blogging..I knw my blog is so dead...cause i actually feeling to delete..but it's okay..cause i can blog out here to say out my feelings..cause i feel annoying also if i sharing my with my feeling..Although i hope someone is always beside me,..when i need someone help..she/he will beside me n help me out!!..

Actually this post will be pissed off n emo post..but i trying to tell myself to avoid any emo problems n all those..

I seriously have many weakness..tats y i do really hate myself alot..I not in anyting..im not trying to saying myself lidat...but i realise i am..


My piano is bad..all like ''half baldi''..study not good..Dancing lagi no need say...since last time till now...no improvement...I wad also scare..animals scare,.inject scare,..wad also scare..wad else i not scare??>.<...argh!!..i dunno y myself be lidat also..T

I seriously love dancing!!..But i do not have the conditions..i feeling to stop..cause it seriously kinda suffering..i feeling to stop last time dy..but i tell myself..perhaps i may improve??..but no improvement at all..it..seriously make upset..seriously..today i tell mum i feeling to stop..and my mum give me a shock expression n answered me can..but u have to pay me back from 5yrs old the fees till now..before i asking her..i ady knw she will say tat..cause its so wasted...i do know tat..last time i didnt stop..just because i keep tell myself dun be so fast give up..n dun so waste mum money..but i have been so many yrs didnt taking exam..cause im weak mayb..n the teacher..i also dunno la..haiy..so still have to continue..yoon yee..stand it..!!

A day really may happen many tings..so we should appreciate our daily life..one day by a day..I'm trying to avoid the emo problems..cause i dunwan to be sad..cause since days still have to goes..y dun be happy??..It seriously easy to say..but its in not easy to do..i really sometimes cant stand anymore..T.T...I keep telling myself..i can do it!!But at last..i dissapointed myself??..

I seriously hope i can get 7a im pmr pls!!..I really hope..god bless me yar,..hopefully i can overcome n seriously do my best!!=(((...k..its seriously kinda late..its 2.32 morning...zz..cant sleep..=.=..

Kla..bye guys..see u..take care!<3

Wow finally i blog...i tink a month i didnt updated..actually feeling to delete..cause very lazy..and i knw no one wil read...the purpose i having blog nt because i wan ppl to read..its just because i wanna express my feelings..cause i believe no one wan to listen to me..i knw u will feel me annoying..although u didnt say it..bt ur face expression tells me...it really happen many tings..which i also dunno hw to describe..i knw my blog is lame..i knw im nt pro in com stuff..so i dunno update watever video,pics or watever...my english is..BAD..i knew tat..nvm..=S..actually wanna del tis blog..i dunno y..bt i dun tink so..cause maybe i tink when i feel lonely..i can just blogging here=)..so yea..and i knw some of u all like beautiful girls..i knw..sorry im nt..n i dun like llm..lol..haha..anyway act okla..so yea tats alll for nw..take care guys..see u all soon..:)))))

Bye~nites..tata~

Finally it holidays now...

Holidays finally had reach...i really happy cause it time to relax maybe...i really dissapointed with my exam la..i did not done well..hopefully i can do better next time..

Tis few days..nothing much to do..i wan go for holidays..bt parents always busy...i really hope to go out..cause even weekends i didnt go for shop..seiously..

So planning to go out with frens??..midvalley??..dunno..wat i scare is social problems nowadays..
My dad call me to go sunway to play the theme park n outdoor activities..my whole life didnt try before..cause i really dun dare..wat i can tell here is...yes i admit im nt a brave gal to stand out to say anyting..it just the mind control u..sometimes u will feel might i have a mental problem?

I always tell myself yoon yee confidence..finally also nt dare..hm..hope i can overcome..tis few days..cant even sleep..my mind is stuck..i knw fren is important..i know tat..yesterday while i cant sleep..i flash back someting..asking myself hw many fren u gt?? R u good person or a good fren??..i dunno thy can feel a nt..bt i really do my best..my english was bad..so i tink should improve more??.

MY maths was bad..cause my brain cant function fast..thy call me eat more raisin..lol..=)..
Bt not really it..however thanks for the advise from anyone who really give me support n encouragement..i tink i should tink in positif side more..mayb..sometimes ppl cant change really fast..in 5 min?? or whenever...

So tats all for nw..hope next posting will be more happy??..wishing u all have a nice holidays~

Noting much..just feeling to tell smthg bt no one will listen..cause later thy feel annoy..nvm

Today is holiday of wesak..i knw i should nt wasting time of blogging..bt study cause exam is coming...bt i really dunwan keep tink non sense in my mind...I wan to ask smthg...if someone is seeing tis blog...wat a friend need for???Is a fren need for bodek each other to get benefit??to become more popular..to become proud??Wat is tis fren need for...free also dunwan...later sendiri have penyakit jantung...=.=''..i knw..everybody in school or 9o% will dun like me..i dunno y..tis morning..someone told me someone dun like me..sometimes i rly wonder..i dun even knw u..y u wan to say ,y bad words...whr i tak jui u??..fine no fren no fren lo...y so big deal??...
Frendship is a complicated tings sometimes...or most of the times..if last time..a fren can die for a fren..if nw???see la who win or watever...does..however...i dunwan care dunwan knw..bt sometimes dun be too over..and i quite la dissopointed on u sometimes..act i should nt put any hope already..when in the early time i already knw the result..so i should nt care d...anyway exam is coming i really scare..hope god will forgive me...i knw i didnt put effort...bt..im really sorry..i hope i wont fail n change class onli..i will try hard next time..k la tat all for nw...tata=)

What a teacher i have met??

Yesterday...

Thursday~

Today gt pjk in the first period time...den we plan to do our aural lo...den teacher say ok...den i really quite nervous...den k lo...den bla...finish...den have to sign n see the marks...den teacher say she will minus 5 marks...cause we late do..den we shock...den i tink wont de la...lucky teacher didnt...den the highest among 4 of us is yee won...i was hapi to her la...den when my time teacher call me to sign...teacher say i read frm the script??my heart saying tat wth!!SINCE WHEN??my fren bside me also say i didnt...cause actually i gt see the script when IM NT READING...I KNW Y TEACHER WILL SAY TAT..U KNW Y??..because tat teacher keep care about others n didnt even act rly listen to me talking abt..i was rly sad n dissapointed..cause i didnt...i tell teacher i just tell whr the story goes n whr am i onli...others also like tat she didnt say..why must be me evrytime??..i sad cause b4 the day i so susah payah n hafal...n she say i look the paper..i was wad a world is tis??how fair?? and teacher banding last time marks..if exp u take 9 last time imposible i gt 14 nw..teacher see tat...i was seeing her...do tat..i rly fade up n walk away...

Actually i plan to do again...bt my fren dun rly wan...i knw she will feel angry when i say tis..i didnt feel tat she tak layak do tat..i rly...i swear..k??...after tat i also dunno do wad d...very moody...forget d..=p..

After tat i wan borrow a book frm someone...den she say cannot cause she say she pay for the fees to tat tuition..i was like...haiy..fine nvm...cause i thought as a fren nt should be share knowlegde together??hurt again..she say i didnt tat last time she gt teach me isnt tat knowledge..bt i said...i also gt teach when i knw the ques when u dunno do...she say she dun understand wat i explain?...omg...i knw la..my eng or watever is bad...i knw i tak layak to teach u..bt i try d..i try n hope i can help u in a proper way d..i knw i dunno hw explain..im sorry??..just say if u saw tis blog or message,..hope tat u dun misunderstand..nt talk ur bad tings..bt im wanna say sorry ??..SERIOUSLY..WAS LIKE SPEECHLESS...CANT CONCENTRATE WHEN I REVISION..cause i was thinkin y everyday sure happen some bad feel??..And i also knw tat..many teacher dun like me...even i berjasa n help them like u rly put ur 100% effort..she also didnt appreciate u..since quite lng time ago..i also fgt d..last time std 5..the teacher hate me n see me..idk y...den one time gotong royong...nobody come...just a few like 4 or 5..i help out...n help her..den she onli nt rly hate me...den f1..i gt a post..in club..i do until dunno hw to say..n the teacher didnt appreciate bt thought me like ah 4..den f2 i tell myself help out bt dun be so silly lo..my fren also feel tat..nt one of my fren..she likes her vry much..im nt jealous la..==..bt the teacher become better la nw..bt she still like her..nvm..fade up..dunno dun care..i writting tis nt cause i wan sympathised...k la..tats all for nw..tata~=)

A normal day~bt still always have a bad luck in a day

Today like normal wake up n go school den.....no meeting cause f4 n f5 gt exam...den act wan revision den keep no mood n sleepy...den gosh i realise tat i didnt bring my bm book..den worry lo..den i didnt care...den i go to my group n discuss the aural...cause we lost tat paper den we have to tink back wat we wrote n write again..zz..bad luck??

After tat moral...teacher say doing quiz...den keep hafal the definisi lo...haha..den must pick one nilai den answer if tat group have the most ppl den win..yes!!Our group won!..haha..LOLS..and nt lucky keep draw the hard nilai finally i gt the easy n answer..so hapi..^^..haha..after tat continue like normal lo...n chatting with frens...

After recess..gt science..we do revision...bt i no semangat n cant masuk also when i study..den i sleep..=p..haha..zz..shh...when english tat time...act thy told us tat teacher r nt coming..den my group act plan to discuss...den teacher asking hu wanna do aural??actually many group had done..bt we wan to do the best!!..BT teacher say she sick of asking..n like asking us wan to do a nt??We plan to do bt we haven memorise the script yet?? How r we going to do?? One of my fren in the group say just do..better den no marks..I actually wan to..bt then teacher asking r u prepare a nt??and she said dun make me angry if nt i throw 4 of u all out of the class..den teacher going to mad. She stand up n go out..i was scare..and asking wat to do to my group members. We wan to do but act we plan to wear acessories..den we cancel lo cause lack of time...n teacher call us to sit back our places..actually is our fault too beacause we keep delay bt tat time we gt geo n sej project...we can even practise..we r act bad luck..cause the geo n sej teacher say have to hantar tat day if nt no marks..den we stay until 11pm even haven eat dinner..cant u imagine??..N HANTAR tmr for geo n sej hantar after a day..some of them didnt hantar also...after a week ..the two teacher kinda angry bt still accept..its nt fair..

Cause of tat we delay our english aural...Luckily when bell ring tat time teacher call us..n we say do tmr..n sacrifes our recess time too..sobs=(..

Den stay back cause wanna teman my fren go czip lee buy book n we wanna present to my fren...she b.day ma...den go mcd awhile onli cause school so hot..buy one small soft drinks..so small onli..exp..cause nt enough money buy set..zz..=p..so just drink lo..den prac my aural...saw dao many ppl i knw..wonder y so many ppl go thr on wed?saw dao one gal i hate.z...n sudenlly one gang indian of boys..wth!! Thy dunno like calling hu?? after tat thy call us like wat ah moi..zz..swt..=.=''..den we didnt care..den thy talk with two indian girls beside us..so we thought thy knw each other n should be talking to them bt nt us..den when the indian boys gang go back he leave a paper which i tink is phone num n we ask the two indian gals..u knw them? n thy say no..thy say them carzy..den we was kinda shock n dun care cause we have to walk back to school. Den go home lo...nthg to do..~bla bla bla~tats all for today... sorry i knw my english is bad..if u dun understand..i so sorry..(*embarresed*)
Exam r coming!!Gosh i tink i going to fail...=(..T.T...anyway take care guys~

Moody~=(

Hmm...today noting much happen lo...yea firstly wanna thanks aivvy..haha=)..cause she helps me to do the background n edit..rly thanks very muchie..hehe=)...cause i very out de ma..form 1 onli play com..zz

I knw tat life still have to goes although it is hard to been through..tats y i always remind since life still have to goes y dun wan a happy life??I try too but always bad or sad ting happen....today like normal lo..wake up at 9 smthg liddat lo...den eat breakfast den go dance after dance piano till 4pm.act sometimes i dunwan go cause tired..zz..last time till nw always sat n sun cant go out..cause gt class..sob..den have to go my uncle thr cause my mum wan bring him to see hse lo..den eat dinner..say about education n ambition..i feel i didnt talented in anyting...tis few days keep tink some non-sense ting...den go back bath n chatting=)..N i find out im nt tat gud person...=(

Mum...i knw im nt a gud daughter...nt gud in evrthing...i just dunno..sry i keep say idk...
I tis few days keep tink back last time the past memory...n see back old pictures..just sudenlly happen in my mind..i realise i change a lot too...

Tis year seems to be a bad year to me cause kinda many bad tings happen to me n my family which i also dunno hw to say in here...now i can predict some bad tings will happen soon..
Now should i still busy body to concern n care about ppl tings?? yes? no?? If i didnt care my heart like dunno hw..bt i care at last my fault..is like i padan muka to be my fault..
Yea i dunwan because of u i say bad words...cause i didnt said b4...i just said b4 wth n shit..haha..=p..i hope i wont say lo..cause of u..

I rly speechless..dunno wad to do...i knw sometimes i am bad..im here to apologise k?...
I knw i did in eveyting also cant get gud result...

Yea tats all for now~thanks for seeing n support to hu always supports
me ..tats all for now~take care=)guys!!

This is me...this me wat im going to be..i dunwan care i dunwan knw..can i do it??

Huh...finally i can online n blog...i kinda happy...bt not still la..cause im having my piano exam n school...n i didnt prepare anyting...when tat time i cant online tat time, i seriously very bad mood..cause many tings happen to me n my family. Even my frindship with frens..my head n mind keep thinking alot of non-sense tings...today when i online..i check many stuff..ppl blog..facebook and many more..i realise many tings happened...

I knw n i also can feel many ppl dun like me...so wad???WAD am i so care?? Isnt it i try so many times since last time?? I dunno y im i always trying to do my best in a ting n care about someone..in the end..all my fault..i just dont understand.

Today i saw a blog of my fren...actually i feel abit dissapointed abt her..bt i dunno y im so concern abt her..b4 it i can expect she is like tat...

I KNW im nt gud in a single ting...so wad?? i surrender...u r the BEST k?? Y im so busy body?? she bad then just leave it la...y am i so concern about it? i knw i annoying, or watever u tink..ok..i accept...

I JUST very tired i dunwan knw n care abt anyone anymore..tis few days i tink if u gt a 10000000000000000000000x fren bt all is fake it doesnt mean anyting...if gt a choice which is u have many fren while anther u gt onli one true fren..i will choose the true fren..frm last time i hope i gt a true fren or a best fren bt it seems keep dissapoint me n tis world nw dun have a true fren..i just wanna share my heart feeling n care abt me..bt definitely i do not need a boyfren...

I dunno y nw teenagers will change till like tat?? Its sometimes influence me bt i trying hard nt to follow them...finally i wan to say i knw i kinda jealous..hopefully i can overcome my weakness...hope i wont jealous anymore''...and this is me...u dun like me dun like lo..i cant control also...u see last time the post till nw..no one see..i can expect..i feel im talking to myself...yea n i knw la i wat also scare de.i wat also nt dare
.so wat u wan me to do?u thought i wan meh??..its lame i knw..nvm..it all for nw..take care~bye=)

Finally i have decide to blog...

WOW...hmm..tis the first time i blog...i actually wanted to blog it since vry vry vry long ago...finally i had create..tis many years i dun dare..act nt dun dare..is dunwan to create because;the 1st reason is my english was rly rly bad,n i scare no time to update,n many reason..which i dunno hw to say..i wanna have a blog since last time cause..i quite alone..when i wanna to tell smthg..i have no one to tell..i knw i no fren...so wad??..I always advise myself no fren its ok..bt my dad always tell me it is very important..n nw i also tink tat his words r kinda rite..last time i have a diary...cause no blog ma..very small i ady have a diary...swt...=.=''..hope i can release my stress on here mayb...i dunwan to keep anymore in my heart..tats y finally i started blog..cause i scare i will burst again or crazy one day...i just upset n hopeless in my life la sometimes..its like fade up..dunwan to care anymore..bt oneday it reminds u again..im sometimes jealous..i dunno..hope i wont tink all those stuff anymore lo..yea tats all for the first blogging..dun laugh ar if my english is bad k??haha..=)bye~i tink no one will knw i have a blog also n no one will read too..nvm...bye~