Pheww..the time here now is almost 3a.m..I cant sleep..nowadays..having nightmare..always sleep half way..wake up in all a sudden..=(((..Hmm..now i really dunno how to express my feelings here..I dunno whr should i start frm..Cause ystdy *bfore 12am* happened alot of tings..I keep cried n cried..without stopping..I just cant accept it..Although i rly do my rly rly BEST to cheer up..but i just cant stand it anymore..! Dad say out something...I knw im not a daughter..I knew it..I not a GOOD person..im not a good fren...im just not good in everyting!!..Im not thinking negatively..im promise im not..but it prove to me..i am!..Im trying my best..Sometimes i even feeling to my parents about my feelings..but thy dun knw what i feel..and sometimes i feel shy eventhough thy r my parents!..I know im not a good daughter..i just hate it!..I thought i dun have friend..at least i have family members..but y no one rly understand me??..Y??..since when im young..I even tell myself fgt about the past..and fgt what had happened in my friendship prob..sometimes i even act good to them..Cause i tink beeing a fren is better than an enemy..right??..U know what??..Thy act good to me is because thy got intention n thy r taking my benefits frm me..U know how hurts when u knw it..n u have to do a fake smile infront of them??..Y did u all wan to do tis to me n my sis??..I know im nt a smart girl..my brain function slow..And so what?..This is not i want it..This is just me..And u tell me..I dun have brain??..Wth!!..YEs we dun have brain??..And u r the smartest person,..happy??..And i nvr have a choice!!..I very suffer..All the seniors..dun rly like us..frens i guess too..i just dunno y..?..
When my mum scolded u..U tink is all i wanted?..i feel guilty too..I just dunno how to explain..Nyway if u still wanna tink me is most stupid person in the world!..I dun mind!..I have already normal with nyway..It just like when thy need u..Thy just bought u..And whn thy dun need u..Thy threw u way~..Hmm..and..i dunno im doing all this while is what is right a not..im seriously very dissapointed..And im seriously shamed of myself beeing of ''ur'' fren..Im not qualified at all..moreover..I should not dream anymore..Stop it!..I rly dun like myself..>.<..=((...I not a good person~..Im not trying to be negative..its just frm my feelings..Nyway..i will be okay i tink..cheer up fr myself..=.=''..Take care..miss ya!..nites n morning!..T.T
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